Sundays...

What is it about Sundays that just make them so yucky?

You could be having a great week. And then, PAF, Sunday comes along and you feel like you just can't get anything done. And you feel like the city isn't moving at the right speed. And you feel like just coming home and doing nothing. And then you come home and feel guilty for doing nothing all day.

Yeah, that was the kind of Sunday that today was. Except this week wasn't great. It wasn't horrible either. But it was a hard week.

I failed JLPT Level 1 and am still not sure how to deal with it. I can't say that I needed the certification for anything. But I wanted it, and the fact that I failed it by two lousy points is just awful. If they held these exams more often and they didn't cost so much money to take, I probably wouldn't feel as shitty about the results. But between the ever-rising yen, and the fact that I feel absolutely financially screwed for the next few years of my life, I don't know if I should even consider retaking the exam in July.

Money has become a problem lately. Not because I have none of it, but because if I don't start saving now, I will be absolutely screwed once I enter school in April. So I feel guilty spending any money at all. And I feel trapped.

Work is also making me feel trapped and lost and I don't know what to do. I'm taking on more than I can emotionally take on because I need the money. And once April comes around, I will barely be working, which means money's going to get extremely tight.

I need to seriously look into some scholarships. And need to seriously start budgeting my money. And I need to seriously just learn to calm the fuck down a little.