New School, New Life...?

And so I've started a new school. For those of you who didn't know, as of a few weeks ago, I began a whole new journey at Bunka Fashion College. Which I guess is pretty cool.

If you had asked me about a year and a half ago where I thought I'd be at this point in life, this would honestly have been the last thing I would have come up with.

It's not that I didn't want to ever pursue a life in fashion, but I guess I just didn't expect to go back to school. Unless of course it was to go to grad school, and even there, I don't think I seriously would have expected I'd want to apply to that either. But here we are. At Bunka.

So far, it's been pretty fun, I guess. It isn't unicorns and rainbows, and it's only been a couple of weeks so I can't say we've gotten too far, but when we're actually working on making things, I'm not gonna lie, it's wonderful. It makes me super happy, even if I have to redo stitching, erase patterns, and start all over again. I really enjoy making shit, which is great.

However, it isn't easy. And I'm not talking about the actual content per se. But it's 100% in Japanese. Which isn't anything surprising. I mean, I knew that full on when I applied. But still. That aspect is hard. 

Because I don't understand everything that goes on. There are times when I understand so little of what the teacher is talking about. Or other times, when I understand everything, until the teacher explains what is and isn't to be handed in. And then it's like someone flipped a switch in my head, and the part that understands Japanese turns off completely. And I'm confused as all hell.

At the same time, I'm not the first foreign student to go to Bunka. And with my very white features, I absolutely stand out in the crowd, so I hope to God that my teachers are at least a little lenient about things (and the quality of my written works) because if not there's no way I'm going to pass this year. And that stresses me out to no end.

I know it's just the beginning, and in theory, even though the content will become more difficult, the ability to follow and understand should become easier. But I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared to hand in anything. I'm scared of what they'll think when they see the way I write. And I sorta freak out every time I'm made to speak in class.

But I guess at the same time, it's part of growing up, right? Because if you look at any of my ID cards you'll know that I'm old enough to be a "grown up", whatever that means. So I shouldn't worry about the small stuff. I should be happy that I've come this far, and not give a shit about people will think.

But I can't help it.

In other news, I really can't wait to buy me some sewing machines! (Yes, some, cause apparently I need two? Hello poor student life!) I can't wait to make things! And maybe try and sell things too! I wanna go on a shopping spree at the school shop! It's like a craftsman's dream come true!! Everything you'd ever need or want in the same spot! Happiness and joy~!

By the way, this is how I feel about being 24, for the record lol