I've been trying to write this entry for a while now, and I just don't know what to say.
In all truth, I think I'm all talked out. How many times do I say "earthquake" or "nuclear plant" in a day? How many times do I say "I have no intention of going home"?
Right now, the most heartbreaking thing in Tokyo for me, is how many of my friends are going home. Everyday another person leaves my dorm. I've had five people leave over the last few days. Two more are leaving tomorrow. Another leaves Sunday. Who knows who's after that.
I would say that more than half of the students have left my school. As of next week, classes will have become voluntary, and based on the show of hands in class today, I will most likely be the only one in class.
Life is scary right now, I'm not going to say otherwise. I have aftershocks and new earthquakes multiple times a day. I check news sites more often than I should. I check radiation levels. I have started making myself sick with worry as well... I worry when people start going home. I worry when people back home ask me how things are. I worry when people start panicking. That is what's making me ill. I'm stressed out, and simply need life to return to normal.
That being said, what I need most from my friends is for them to support my decision to stay here. I need people to tell me I'm doing the right thing. I need people abroad to comfort me because I'm running out of people to support me here.
As my father put it, "We sent you to Japan not only to learn the language, but to experience life in Japan," and there is so much that I have experienced in the last seven days. I've experienced difficulties, but I have also experienced so much kindness, and observed so much co-operation. Although there may always be a part of Japan that I may not understand, I feel like the hardship of last Friday has brought all residents in Japan (alien or native) closer together and I am proud to be living in such noble country.
I WILL ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE PINKY!!! :D
ReplyDeleteSeriously, over panicking is senseless in times of distress. As an informed and rational being you've decided to stay in Tokyo because, well, unless Godzilla comes out tomorrow from Tokyo Bay you're not risking that much (aside from psychological trauma but that's a whole different story).
As I wrote earlier flying back to Canada would expose you to more radiation than staying in Tokyo, and smokers who are worried about radiation's consequences on their health kind of make me laugh.
It's tough but stay strong Christina. No one judges those who left because they didn't want to take risks; we should similarly not judge those who stay and especially not try to convince them to change their minds.
Quite honestly I find it selfish of those who try to convince you (I don't mean to offend your friends tho, sorry if it sounds offensive).
Are they going to take care of you when you'll be back? Will they really care more? Will they really help you go through the loss of leaving a dream behind? Did they really initially care? Or do they just try to convince you because it seems "reasonable" to them, regardless of how much consequences it has in your life?
I'm allergic to generic niceness and I find this kind of "concern" to be one of them. Being concerned and wishing luck to someone is genuine, but imposing one's values, beyond just giving advices, is a selfish act under the mask of altruism.
Be yourself, I'll love you no matter what. I can't wait to see in July :) Let's go to a maid cafe together :)
to clarify my last post for anyone who reads it - I'm talking about people in Tokyo, not people in Fukushima who are exposed to higher amount of radiation.
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