Move Over, Snooki

Reality shows upset me. Mainly because there is nothing special about the people who have these shows.

Look at fucking Kate Gosselin. I hate that woman. What did she do that was so special? She got pregnant with lots of babies at once. Granted, that's sort of different. But does that warrant having a TV show? Not really. Then her stupid husband cheated on her (or something) and she got a divorce. And her stupid face was on every fucking magazine out there. If they covered every divorce in North America the way they covered hers, they would have to publish weekly volumes of trashy articles and ugly pictures. And I'm sure people would buy them too. Ah, how we love gossip, even if we don't know the people involved.

Now Kate Gosselin is one thing, but how about Jersey Shore? and all those stupid Real Housewives shows? Are people just given money for being trashy? Is that how it works? And all this time my parents were telling me to go to school, study hard, and get a good job. Fuck, I should have been partying it up this whole time.

I say they give me my own reality show. We could name it "Pink Bitch." Cameras could follow me and my mediocre life. They could see the "real life" of a post-university student, trying to find meaning to her life as she works full-time and audits university classes, and occasionally seeing friends and "partying" over Tim Horton's coffees. They could follow me on my hours of public transit every day. They could watch me facebook, tweet and blog. Fuck, it would be riveting. Thank God I swear like a sailor and have an opinion about everything. My charm would give "Pink Bitch" that je-ne-sais-quoi that would have people coming back for more.

Look, I even came up with a tagline, to help market my show: "Small people have big opinions." Now to just get it approved, and here comes my millions of dollars and instant fame.