The Paranoia of an Overthinker

It doesn't take a genius to notice that I am an Overthinker. Whatever you say to me will be reviewed countlessly within my head, allowing me to reinterpret your words in a variety of ways. More often than not, I understand your simple statements as representing complex situations or emotions and thus conclude that your every move towards (or away from) me as a representation of the worst possible scenario. All this to say, I'm a paranoid individual who fears that everyone secretly hates me.

But in reality, people aren't that secretive. If you dislike them, you'd let them know, right? You'd make it much more obvious. Or at the very least, you'd avoid me like the plague, or simply not talk to me.

So why do I worry so much?

Perhaps I do so much overanalyzing to avoid confronting people. If I figure things out on my own, I don't have to be put in the awkward situation of asking people what they really mean. Confronting people is scary because you might have to face a reality that you don't want, and have to deal with it in real time. But when you analyze situations on your own, you know that your conclusions are really only that conclusive. You have a bit of hope that things will turn out in your favour, even if your personal conclusions are far from what you want.

Having been a girl my entire life, I know that what girls say and what they mean are often two very different entities. This being said, how can I trust the words that come out of anyone's mouth, really?

As a legit Overthinker, I've realized that I overanalyze everything I do as well. Not so much in terms of what I mean, but in terms of how people react to my actions. If I ask so-and-so to do this-and-that with me, how will so-and-so react? Will so-and-so think I'm a big creeper? God, what did I just say to so-and-so? So-and-so probably thinks I'm a huge idiot now. The list goes on.

In the spirit of becoming a happier person, I've been overthinking my overthinking tendencies. And to you, thoughts, I say "Fuck Off!". From now on, I will try to do what I want without worrying about others' reactions. Or at least, I think I will. : /