今日、ナンパされた

So I got nanpa'ed today. Pretty hardcore. It was not pleasant.

I often joke with my friends that I want pretty boys to nanpa me. But the version of 'nanpa' that exists in my head involves really hot ikemen, and lack of sketchy-ness. Of course, that's fantasy nanpa.

Real nanpa isn't so fun.

I had been nanpa'ed once in Ikebukuro station, but I was with a friend, so eventually when it started to get sketch, she grabbed my arm and we walked quickly towards our exit. But the guy totally didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested by me walking off. Or, he just chose to disregard that, which is the more likely scenario. He simply kept walking at my pace. Assertive little guy, he was.

But today's scene was different. I was hanging around one of the main exits of Shinjuku station, waiting for a friend. I was pretty early so I just stood against one of the pillars reading one of my JLPT N2 prep grammar books, minding my own business. When BAM some guy who looks like he's in his mid-to-late thirties comes up to me and asks me if I speak Japanese. Now I know that in this situation, the wise thing to do is play the dumb foreigner and say "no," but I really hate that idea, so I said "yes." Though, to be fair, there was no way for me to say "no" anyway... the book I was reading was entirely in Japanese, and he asked me in English... so for all I know, he could speak English too, which would have yielded the same end-result. At least this way I got to practice my Japanese, right?

But that's besides the point. Nanpa is pretty serious sketchy business. He kept asking me for my phone mail address (which is pretty much the Japanese way of texting), or for us to go for a drink, which the answer was 'no' every time. But he wouldn't leave me alone. I tell him I have a boyfriend. I tell him I'm going back to Canada in July. I tell him I'm meeting up with my friend soon. The fact that A and B are a lie mean nothing to him. He keeps asking if we can go grab a drink while I wait for my friend. I decline over and over. The whole thing went on for a good 10-15 min, if not longer. And I was almost pinned against the pole, that's how close he was to me. I kept looking at the station guard with 'please-help-me' eyes, but that did absolutely nothing. Finally, my friend showed up and we ran away from him, because if not he was going to ask my friend if he could come out with us, which I obviously did not want.

Now, Japan is a pretty safe place and all, and had I not been waiting for a friend, I would have simply walked off, and in theory I would have been alright... But when you think about it, nanpa is only a step away from forced-consented rape. When someone asks you over and over again, eventually you'll say yes just to get yourself out of the situation, no? But in this case getting yourself out of one situation simply leads to another even worse situation. This guy was pretty aggressive... and I'm sure they get even worse.

And from what I noticed today, no one around you tries to help out. Okay, the station guard was far enough away to not be able to hear what we were talking about. But there were people all around us (keep in mind, this is Shinjuku station, the busiest train station in the world), and we were speaking in Japanese, so I'm sure that people were listening...

What is it that causes others to not intervene? Is it apathy? Is it the curiosity to see what naturally comes next? Could they possibly think that I already knew this guy and that I was in a safe environment? I'd like to think that if it got really bad and I were to scream or something, someone should theoretically come to my aid.

Actually talking about strangers helping strangers in Japanese train stations, a few weeks ago, I saw an old man collapse in Shinjuku-Sanchome Station. At first I thought he had just slipped (the floor was wet due to rain), but he stayed down for a while. My next assumption was that he was having a seizure. He was twitching, but not convulsing. Realistically, he probably had a stroke or heart attack. I didn't stick around to see if survived the whole thing, realistically there was absolutely nothing I could do to help him, but strangers did call station people over to do what they could.

So how can I conclude these experiences? Some public events call for outside help. Others do not. Unfortunately, the one in need of said help is not the one to judge if help is received.