Today's Thoughts

Today's been a thinking day. So time for some show and tell.

- I'm bad at living, but good at living vicariously through others.

I don't know how to explain it better than that. I don't do, I observe. I wonder what it's like. I imagine. I imagine wonderful things.

Reality is hard to deal with, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fully enter into it. In some ways, it's sort of sad that I feel so disconnected and incapable of becoming a regular member of society. In other ways, I'm pretty happy with the way things are. Further reflection is required.

- Anyone who has time to lament the Stanley Cup results deserves a slap in the face

Not gonna lie, I'm still in mega-apathy mode.

I understand some people have a profound interest in sports. I also understand that I am not one of those people. However, ANYONE who talks about how TRAGIC it is that Vancouver lost to Boston deserves a slap in the face. There is nothing tragic about grown men playing a fucking game. Men who make millions of dollars to play a fucking game broadcast on TV. Had mid-game, the arena caught fire and everyone would have died, that would have been tragic. But this was not the case. If you want to see tragedy, pull open CNN.com or any similar news site and see all the people who are suffering in the world.

Just fuck off with your bullshit.

- I don't hate children, but...

I don't exactly like them either. I've realized that my feelings towards children and why they make me uneasy are extremely complex. Except when it comes to babies. I honestly do not think of them as cute in any way, shape or form. Ew.

But kids... kids are different. What I dislike about them is not that they're loud and annoying and run around without realizing the presence of other people. I dislike that they represent a kind of very short-lived innocence, and that in itself is extremely sad.

That's it. Kids make me really sad. Because you see them running around, smiling, and having fun. And not fully understanding the world around them. They don't know what they will become.

Adults are often categorized by society as being "good" or "bad" due to social norms imposed upon them. But every single adult evolved from its slightly smaller, younger self, the child. But how does someone who was so "cute" and "innocent" become someone like a murderer? a thief? an adulterer?

I'm sure if someone showed you a picture of Hitler as a child, you'd probably think he was cute too. How does someone so small become such an influential piece in world history?

When I see children, I don't see them as children. I see them as soldiers heading into the war we call The World. How many of them will end up with social or psychological problems? How many of them will take their own lives? How many of them will become the target of abuse? How many will become abusers themselves? How many of them will cheat on their spouse? How many of them will die of sickness? How many of them will become druggies, alcoholics, prostitutes?

This being said, when people post baby photos of themselves on Facebook, I am forced to think things like, "How did that small girl become such a big slut?" and other equally negative comments.

The horrible thing about children is that they grow up. Every child is literally a "Kinder Surprise" when you think about it (not literally chocolate, but literally the name of said chocolate). And they're figuratively like the chocolate as well. You buy a Kinder Surprise, not for the chocolate, but for the shitty toy you're going to get inside. Sometimes you end up with a so-so toy, but often your reaction is simply, "Seriously? This is the toy I get? Lame..." And then you eat the chocolate and are equally disappointed.

In the same way that every child one day realizes that their parents are human and make mistakes, in the same way that every child hates their parents at some point in their lives, I can't help but think that every parent at some point, looks at their child and thinks, "Seriously? Is this the child I got? Lame..."

So let's try and form a general conclusion, shall we?

Life is full of disappointments. Does that mean we should stop living? No. But does that mean we should look at the world somewhat differently? Maybe. At the very least, we should try and put what we're saying into perspective. Life is a lot bigger (and more complex) than we think.