13.02.17

"So A told me you told her you didn't want a girlfriend...?"

"Yeah..."

"That's bullshit, right?"

"Yeah... but, I mean, I really only had two options: Tell her I didn't want a girlfriend, or tell her I didn't want to date her."

And that's it, folks. It's as simple as that. After 25 years of being on the rejected side, and five minutes of talking with my friend, it really is just that simple. We complicate our lives by inventing stories and excuses and burying ourselves in denial and self-hate, when really, it's just that simple.

I mean, I've come to my own conclusions over the years, so I've learned that nine times out of ten, "I don't want a girlfriend" really is code for "I'm really sorry, but I just don't want to date you." But for my friend to just say it straight out, as we sat in the Bunka library and looked through pictures of runway models in fashion magazines, as if it really doesn't matter, was a little eye-opening.

We complicate life for ourselves, as girls. We look for excuses because the truth is frightening and hard to deal with. But really, maybe, just telling ourselves that, straight up, it's because we're incompatible, maybe we would see life differently. There is no fault here. People are just people trying to keep themselves as happy as possible. Most of the time, they don't want to hurt others for no reason. So maybe it's just time to let go of everything. And start to live more in the now and less in the 'what if.'