1. I don't know what the hell is wrong but I feel so stuck and I hate going home because I just don't want to do anything and I don't want to work and I can't motivate myself to do anything fun either and all my friends are busy and I just get super depressed and it sucks.
2. And I only ever try to talk to certain people because when I get into these moods I don't want to talk to anyone that I have to explain too many things to. Or that I have to try too hard with. I just want someone to keep me distracted from all the shit that's not right in my head. And so I need people I just feel calm around. But there are just so few of these people and they're all so busy and I end up alone all the time.
3. I hate being alone. I hate groups of people. All I want is one other person to be with me when I'm in these sorts of moods.
4. I'm so afraid of eating food that's gone bad that even food that hasn't past its due date becomes questionable. I'm always afraid of eggs and milk. And I had an egg today that was sorta raw, which is usually not a problem, but it's been in my fridge for a while but still technically good and now I'm paranoid.
5. I'm so paranoid about everything.
