1. Your message yesterday had the best timing ever. 24 hours later and I'm still extremely amused.
2. Maybe I should take this weird period shit as a sign to go back onto the pill and get my life organized and shit. And then clean my fucking room. And buy more storage. And finally unpack most of my shit. Then finally get rid of all the empty boxes. And actually feel like I live somewhere for once.
3. I need to take better care of everything and everyone and myself.
4. I need to finally pick up that makeup and that handcream I've been putting off for weeks. There is only so much I can squeeze out of these things.
5. I'm not sure if I need to learn to give more of a shit or less of a shit about things.
6. There are some people you prioritize over every other person you know. A single message from them will make you drop everything to be with them. I don't know what this emotion is called.
7. Silliest thing to say ever, but I'm totally in love with my own tumblr hahaha. But hear me out before you think I'm some self-conceited weirdo bitch. I post a lot of things I like, and perhaps it is my own personal bias, but I really think it looks nice all together. It's a nice mix of pictures, with a good flow of colors and themes from one pic to the next. And it's 100% what makes up my emotions and my personality and my essence. And just looking through it makes me happy.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
13.04.15
1. As much as I don't get offended easily, I get hurt easily, if that makes any sense.
2. I don't know what that scary sound is outside but I really hope it's the neighbour vacuuming or something. Or waxing her floors? I can deal with that kind of stuff.
3. I rewatched the entirety of Magic Knight Rayearth (both seasons) and I'm not gonna lie, I'm super disappointed with the ending. Like what is this. Just no. I think the manga has a better ending. Gotta find and pick those up in the near future. But still. I need to talk to Akane and rant about what the hell that was all about because I love her and she understands my frustrations about these things lol.
4. It's interesting rewatching an anime series ten years later. You notice a lot more psychologically fucked up things the second time around. And all the recurring themes and cultural references. It really makes you wanna write up a master's thesis about all this shit. Or maybe that's me.
5. The thing about going back to school after finishing university, etc, is that everyone is really young. Including the boys you find cute. Fuck.
6. The muscles between my ass and my leg have been hurting for weeks and it's no good. Bah!
7. I'm going to try to ingest my recommended daily calorie intake everyday. Or more. Gotta gain weight.
8. You see something you want and you don't know how to achieve your goal. You are paralyzed with fear and you just don't know how to go about it. And you wait for the window of opportunity to close itself so you can go back to hoping and dreaming because it just feels safer.
2. I don't know what that scary sound is outside but I really hope it's the neighbour vacuuming or something. Or waxing her floors? I can deal with that kind of stuff.
3. I rewatched the entirety of Magic Knight Rayearth (both seasons) and I'm not gonna lie, I'm super disappointed with the ending. Like what is this. Just no. I think the manga has a better ending. Gotta find and pick those up in the near future. But still. I need to talk to Akane and rant about what the hell that was all about because I love her and she understands my frustrations about these things lol.
4. It's interesting rewatching an anime series ten years later. You notice a lot more psychologically fucked up things the second time around. And all the recurring themes and cultural references. It really makes you wanna write up a master's thesis about all this shit. Or maybe that's me.
5. The thing about going back to school after finishing university, etc, is that everyone is really young. Including the boys you find cute. Fuck.
6. The muscles between my ass and my leg have been hurting for weeks and it's no good. Bah!
7. I'm going to try to ingest my recommended daily calorie intake everyday. Or more. Gotta gain weight.
8. You see something you want and you don't know how to achieve your goal. You are paralyzed with fear and you just don't know how to go about it. And you wait for the window of opportunity to close itself so you can go back to hoping and dreaming because it just feels safer.
Monday, April 8, 2013
13.04.08
1. If there's one thing I learned from Saturday's experience, it's that the most important thing in running a successful business is employee satisfaction.
2. I was on TV this morning! And this time it wasn't just me in the background! Too bad the TV people A) didn't tell me in advance when it was going to be shown, and B) I don't have a TV... At least one of my friends took a picture of it for me. Yay.
3. School again? I guess so. New program, new classmates. SAME TA AS LAST YEAR I FREAKED OUT. Im sure it'll be okay... I was just in a bit of a shock all day lol.
4. This is my life these days in a nutshell. Take of that what you will.
5. So many things to carry to school with me tomorrow!
6. A big enough bug made it into my apartment yesterday and I don't know how I'm going to survive this summer. I guess the three possible options are:
i. set up bug traps
ii. get a bf and make sure he's always home with me so that he can kill all the bugs for me
iii. grow some balls and learn to kill them myself
Honestly, the most doable option is i.... though I wouldn't mind ii. lol
2. I was on TV this morning! And this time it wasn't just me in the background! Too bad the TV people A) didn't tell me in advance when it was going to be shown, and B) I don't have a TV... At least one of my friends took a picture of it for me. Yay.
3. School again? I guess so. New program, new classmates. SAME TA AS LAST YEAR I FREAKED OUT. Im sure it'll be okay... I was just in a bit of a shock all day lol.
4. This is my life these days in a nutshell. Take of that what you will.
5. So many things to carry to school with me tomorrow!
6. A big enough bug made it into my apartment yesterday and I don't know how I'm going to survive this summer. I guess the three possible options are:
i. set up bug traps
ii. get a bf and make sure he's always home with me so that he can kill all the bugs for me
iii. grow some balls and learn to kill them myself
Honestly, the most doable option is i.... though I wouldn't mind ii. lol
Sunday, April 7, 2013
13.04.06
１. イベントに参加できて嬉しいんだけど、こういうテーマが私には辛い。だから、ショーはどんなに可愛くても泣きたくなって、苦しかった。
２. 私の「秘密」を皆に言いたいんだけど、言いづらくて、気まずくて、いいタイミングがないから、なかなか言わない。でも別に隠したいことじゃない。
３. なんで一緒にいるとこんなに楽しいか分からない。むしろ困る。だってさ、あなたにふられたよ。でアタシの友達と付き合い始めたじゃん。あれだけで辛いからさ、don't give me hope.
4. As much as my friends mean well and as much as it's probably true, being told 'He'll never date a gaijin, so don't take it personally!' really isn't something I know how to deal with emotionally yet.
5. At least that part of my day went better than expected. Just give me a bit more time and I should be good with it all. I'm extremely good at becoming friends with guys who've rejected me, it just doesn't happen overnight. Usually.
6. I still want to sit down with you and tell you why I think you're an asshole and why I've been hurt by you over the last few months. Is this what we call closure? Who knows.
7. I've been up for like 19+ hours and my brain is starting to dribble out of my ears. Maybe bed soon.
8. By 7 a.m. today....
i. I had already been up for two hours
ii. A stranger tried to get me into his car (he offered me a lift.... but I mean, potato, potahto, right?)
iii. It was raining
iv. There was an accident on the yamanote line (i.e. probably a suicide) and the line was down
v. Because of iv was forced to walk from Yoyogi to Harajuku (20 min walk)
vi. Because of iv friend was going to be late to the event i was heading to, thus leaving me alone to work with my other friend who just started dating the guy i liked.... (ended up not being awkward at all, but there was initial dreading fear so it counts)
9. I continue to believe that poor is the other eco.
２. 私の「秘密」を皆に言いたいんだけど、言いづらくて、気まずくて、いいタイミングがないから、なかなか言わない。でも別に隠したいことじゃない。
３. なんで一緒にいるとこんなに楽しいか分からない。むしろ困る。だってさ、あなたにふられたよ。でアタシの友達と付き合い始めたじゃん。あれだけで辛いからさ、don't give me hope.
4. As much as my friends mean well and as much as it's probably true, being told 'He'll never date a gaijin, so don't take it personally!' really isn't something I know how to deal with emotionally yet.
5. At least that part of my day went better than expected. Just give me a bit more time and I should be good with it all. I'm extremely good at becoming friends with guys who've rejected me, it just doesn't happen overnight. Usually.
6. I still want to sit down with you and tell you why I think you're an asshole and why I've been hurt by you over the last few months. Is this what we call closure? Who knows.
7. I've been up for like 19+ hours and my brain is starting to dribble out of my ears. Maybe bed soon.
8. By 7 a.m. today....
i. I had already been up for two hours
ii. A stranger tried to get me into his car (he offered me a lift.... but I mean, potato, potahto, right?)
iii. It was raining
iv. There was an accident on the yamanote line (i.e. probably a suicide) and the line was down
v. Because of iv was forced to walk from Yoyogi to Harajuku (20 min walk)
vi. Because of iv friend was going to be late to the event i was heading to, thus leaving me alone to work with my other friend who just started dating the guy i liked.... (ended up not being awkward at all, but there was initial dreading fear so it counts)
9. I continue to believe that poor is the other eco.
Friday, April 5, 2013
13.04.05
Because I'm suffering from a case of serious procrastination, let's make a list of short term goals, shall we?
1. Read more in French. Because I have no one to speak French with and it's quickly starting to dribble out of my brain. And people are always saying that reading is good for you....right?
2. Read more in Japanese. Because I need to learn stuff. And studying Japanese words and phrases alone just doesn't stick anymore... Have I plateau'ed? Perhaps....
3. Write more. Because I need to practice formulating thoughts and ideas into communicable words.
4. Take more walks. It saves money and lets me see a whole lot more of Tokyo Suburbia, which I absolutely love.
5. Buy a frying pan and start cooking.
6. BUY SHELVES BECAUSE THIS IS STARTING TO GET RIDICULOUS PEOPLE ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS AND IM STILL LIVING IN BOXES!
7. Spend more time in coffee shops. This whole saving-money business has turned into way too much spend-time-alone-in-my-apartment time.
8. Spend more time with my computer off and my phone far away.
9. Buy a watch (so that 8 can happen).
10. Eat more of everything and gain five pounds. (And maybe buy a scale so I actually know how much I weigh...?)
1. Read more in French. Because I have no one to speak French with and it's quickly starting to dribble out of my brain. And people are always saying that reading is good for you....right?
2. Read more in Japanese. Because I need to learn stuff. And studying Japanese words and phrases alone just doesn't stick anymore... Have I plateau'ed? Perhaps....
3. Write more. Because I need to practice formulating thoughts and ideas into communicable words.
4. Take more walks. It saves money and lets me see a whole lot more of Tokyo Suburbia, which I absolutely love.
5. Buy a frying pan and start cooking.
6. BUY SHELVES BECAUSE THIS IS STARTING TO GET RIDICULOUS PEOPLE ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS AND IM STILL LIVING IN BOXES!
7. Spend more time in coffee shops. This whole saving-money business has turned into way too much spend-time-alone-in-my-apartment time.
8. Spend more time with my computer off and my phone far away.
9. Buy a watch (so that 8 can happen).
10. Eat more of everything and gain five pounds. (And maybe buy a scale so I actually know how much I weigh...?)
Monday, April 1, 2013
13.04.01
1. It's amazing how many emotions you can feel in one day.
2. But sometimes I just want stability.
3. I don't know how to improve my Japanese and it's killing me and days like today make me feel so embarrassed and useless. And it makes me scared that I might never find a job here.
4. Finally took my first purikura of the year and I'm extremely happy with the result.
5. April? Huh? Time is too fast aaaah.
6. I need to lay off of self-destructive creeping. But I think we secretly all love to find ways to bring ourselves down and hate others.
7. "As far as I'm concerned, you and N are Japanese. I don't consider you gaijin." is one of the most touching things I've been told in the two years I've lived here. And it came from the most unexpected person too. まじ泣けるほど感動した。ありがとう。
8. I am so proud of the jacket I just made. I wanna wear it forever. Except that the weather's gonna get hot soon and I'll melt away. But until then I'm gonna wear it everyday.
2. But sometimes I just want stability.
3. I don't know how to improve my Japanese and it's killing me and days like today make me feel so embarrassed and useless. And it makes me scared that I might never find a job here.
4. Finally took my first purikura of the year and I'm extremely happy with the result.
5. April? Huh? Time is too fast aaaah.
6. I need to lay off of self-destructive creeping. But I think we secretly all love to find ways to bring ourselves down and hate others.
7. "As far as I'm concerned, you and N are Japanese. I don't consider you gaijin." is one of the most touching things I've been told in the two years I've lived here. And it came from the most unexpected person too. まじ泣けるほど感動した。ありがとう。
8. I am so proud of the jacket I just made. I wanna wear it forever. Except that the weather's gonna get hot soon and I'll melt away. But until then I'm gonna wear it everyday.
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