French, Maid, Cafe

I got to speak French for the first time in two months today, and it was wonderful.

It's funny how the thing I miss most about home is speaking French. Despite being an Anglophone Montrealer, I do feel like the French language is part of who I am, and having no one to speak to in French these last few months has been really weird. Tomorrow I have a date with an old friend from McGill who is also in Tokyo on exchange, and I'm pretty excited. I haven't seen her since April, so it should be a lot of fun :) (and she was my French-partner on the telephone tonight, so more French... yaay XD)

In other news, yesterday I went to a maid cafe in Akihabara with one of my friends. I love maid cafes... I don't really care about the fetishistic aspect of it all... I just think the uniforms are super cute, and the service is really good. The one we went to yesterday was called "Hand Maid Cafe うさぎの森L<->R" . All the maids were dressed up as 'bunnies' and it was adorable. Before we went in, we had to agree to a couple of conditions. For one, photography was prohibited, which was too bad because of how cute everything is... but I was expecting that. Another condition was that we couldn't smoke in the restaurant because, it was a "forest" and smoking causes fires, and they would all die. When the cashier told us this, she wiped away a fake tear with her bunny ear. It was so cute! We agreed to these conditions and a couple of others and waited our turn to enter. When our bunny arrived, she grabbed a lamp, turned it on, and guided us to our seat, reminding us to watch our step, "because it is very dark"...which it wasn't at all. The whole ordeal was just too cute.

We could have taken purikura photos with our favourite bunny for 600¥ if we wanted, which we didn't, though I totally regret it now lol. If I go back, I might purikura next time lol.

It was by far the nicest of the three maid cafes I've been to to-date. For one, it was a huge restaurant. The decor was really cute, too, and was very reminiscent of a Disney themed restaurant. They also had a stage where they would sing time-to-time. What was interesting about this one is that I felt like it catered to all kinds of people. When people think maid cafes, they often think creepy old men with maid fetishes. The clientele in this one, however, was made up of a variety of different kinds of people. There were a couple of men who were there on their own, but there were couples, pairs of women, groups of guys, and a couple of us foreigners too. They even had an English menu at the entrance, which is always a welcoming sign. The bunnies at the counter seemed a bit worried when we first appeared, because they themselves didn't speak English, but once we told them that they could speak to us in Japanese, the whole thing went fine. I was actually really impressed by how much I understood of what they were saying to me ^^

Every part of Tokyo has a different feel to it. Some I like, some I like less, but it's all part of the grand experience of experiencing the entire city. Akihabara has a nice feeling to it. Not only are the people generally pretty nice, but it has a nice nostalgic feel to it as well. I don't think I'll ever become an anime fan again, but I can appreciate what Akihabara is and what kind of people it caters to. I dunno... I just feel a sense of general acceptance in the air when I'm there... Maybe that's why it's a popular place among the rejects of society... And as one of those people who has never quite fit in, I feel like maybe Akihabara likes me too ^^

A Matter of Perspective

I had a pretty fun day today. Two girls from my dorm, my dorm manager, and I went to the university near our place to check out their library and their cafeteria. As we sat in the cafeteria and ate our food, we started talking about the really good-looking guy sitting at the table far away. I was ooh-ing and ah-ing over his wonderful hair and sweater, and the other two girls also seemed to find him rather attractive. My dorm manager was surprised by our liking of him, because to her, he was very ordinary. With every wonderful "ordinary" guy that we passed, my friends and I continued to make comments about their beauty to our dorm manager.

I explained to her that, although these guys might look ordinary to her, Japanese guys (as well as all the Korean guys at school), dress so nicely, that it's hard not to find them attractive. Most North Americans guys dress like slobs, to be honest. Some people put such little time and effort into their appearances back home, that there's very little attractive about them.

Japanese men are very beautiful from behind. You fall in love with a guy without ever seeing his face. His hair is gelled in gravity-defying ways, his pants are tight, his shoes are pointy... he might even be carrying around a purse. This happens to me every day when I commute... I fall in love with people before I even see their faces... To be honest, the face is secondary. If he's cute, that's an added bonus, but it isn't one of the qualifications for him to gain a special place in my heart.

I wonder if this makes me a shallow person. On one hand, I totally sound like one. But on the other hand, I don't care much about the "raw materials". I don't need someone who was born with a perfect face. I just want someone who puts effort into his appearance.... is that so much to ask for?

At the very least, I can definitely say that I am enjoying my fair share of eye-candy while I'm in Japan. It's so wonderful. And I see a lot of host-type guys, and they're amazing too. There was a perfect-looking-potential-host in the Ikebukuro train station the other day.... MY GOD, HE WAS PERFECT lol. His face was perfect too.... aaaah.... lol I definitely want to go to a host club before I go back to Montreal. It'll cost me out the ass, and my Japanese is still not good enough to actually get the full value for my money, but at some point the experience has to be had.

So enough of me gushing about beautiful men... I experienced a Matcha Latte from Doutor today... It was super nummy.... ヾ(´▽｀*;)ゝ" I need to have it again... Yes, yes... And because I just putzed around Ikebukuro all day, I realized that there's a Doutor coffee shop about 10 min walking from my place... (not to mention 2 between Shinjuku-Gyoenmae and my school...), so I can probably say goodbye to my money, and hello to more of these heavenly lattes lol. I really wanna try out a Sakura Latte from Starbucks too, but I was turned down by both Starbucks' I went to today because they were both full... Ohh well... I still have some time before they disappear ^^;

I bought another JLPT N2 book today too. I've bought 3 in the last 2 weeks. I really want to try and pass N2 in July~! And much to my surprise (and delight), I've actually been reading them and working with them. It's wonderful. Reading them is a little bittersweet though. They're definitely helpful, but they do remind me of how much learning I still need to do in this language. At the same time, the more I read them, the more I'll learn. Even if I only retain 10% of all the vocabulary I've learned from these books, it's still 10% more than I had before, right? ^^

Cards and Truffles

I already feel like this week has been really long... and it's only Tuesday.

I've been feeling down a lot lately, so I figured it'd be good to focus on the latest happy occurrences in Pinky's life.

For one, I received a wonderful Valentine's card from home on Friday. I totally wasn't expecting anything, and when I came in, my dorm manager presented me with a pink envelop with my mom's writing all over it. It was a really cute card, and it happened to contain some cash too, which was another nice surprise. I haven't spent it yet. Whenever I receive gift money, I feel like I have to be very careful on what I spend it on. I separated it from the rest of my cash in my wallet and I want to wait until I find something special to spend it. ^^

Talking about cards, I'm sure if you read my blog regularly, you know that I sent a birthday card out two weeks ago... Well a couple of days ago I got the sweetest thank you message ever in my fb inbox. He really appreciated my card, and that made me really happy. The rest of that day ended up being so weird and disappointing, so I was really happy that at least one thing had gone right ^^

Oh, and a friend and I made truffles the other day that turned out DELICIOUS. I usually dislike anything cheese-cake-y, but these were WONDERFUL. They were oreo cheesecake truffles, that were super easy to make (and even easier to eat...) If I get a chance, I'd like to make them again... I could eat them forever.... lol...

Anyways, that's it for tonight... Midterms on Thursday... wish me luck, guys!

Questionable Meanings 1: Song Lyrics

I like fun, catchy music as much as everyone else does. But me being me, I can't just listen to music superficially. As I learn the lyrics to songs, I start to really listen to the lyrics, and start noticing things that most people probably don't notice.

So as I procrastinate for my kanji exam tomorrow, I've decided it's time to examine a couple of songs I rather enjoy, and explain how deep down, they actually have horrible, horrible meanings.

Subject A: No One Else - Weezer

On the surface, it sounds like a cute song about how the singer wants a girlfriend who isn't constantly trying to impress other guys, only him. But if you listen carefully, it's actually about a really possessive guy who wants his girlfriend to put him before everything and everyone else. Let's examine the following lyrics, shall we?

I want a girl who will laugh for no one else
When I'm away she puts her makeup on the shelf
When I'm away she never leaves the house
I want a girl who laughs for no one else

See that lyric there? The one about never leaving the house? I smell possessive boyfriend, yes yes. I guess the rest of the song isn't all that possessive-sounding... but still. I feel like the chorus is pretty significant. A girl can't choose to be pretty just to be pretty. She has to put on make-up for her boyfriend (which implies that without said make-up she might not be suitable for said-boyfriend). Oh yeah, and she can't have friends, right? Cause she isn't supposed to laugh for anyone but her wonderful man. Hmmm... I dunno, man, I just don't know.

Subject B: Our Love Was Saved By Spacemen - The Pipettes

I really love this song. I love the concept of songs about alien abductions. I love the way the song sounds. And at first glance, this song seems pretty cute and happy. But, really, it's about a relationship gone wrong, and now that this guy's memory has been erased, he has once again fallen in love with his girlfriend.

He used to be so cruel
Took our love for a game
He played me for a fool
Until the day those Martians came

And now he's falling in love again
With me
It's like we're back to the start again
And I'm as happy as can be

Now the girlfriend seems pretty happy about the fact that their love was "saved", but not gonna lie, if the boyfriend was as bad as a person as she describes in the rest of the song, would you really want to get back together with him, knowing how much of a jerk he really is? And wouldn't the relationship logically fall apart again...? He may have lost his memory, but he'll have the same asshole tendencies as before, no?

Today's Conclusion

Now, do these songs become bad because their lyrics are somewhat questionable? Not at all. I still really love both of them. But I would refrain from calling either of these songs romantic in any way. The first is about being possessive, and the second is about wanting to be in a potentially-abusive (or at least loveless) relationship. Saying these songs are romantic would be like saying that "Every Breath You Take" by The Police is romantic... which, I guess it is, if you like stalkers.

February Blues? But It's Spring Here...

On days like today I think that maybe it is depression.

Days like yesterday, too.

I had often experienced these kinds of crap days back home, but somehow, I had never experienced it in Japan, and had somehow hoped that it was my life back home that was creating the problem. But at that time, I had never spent a significant amount of time in Japan... and somehow I kept my attitude up while on vacation.

Or maybe it is my life back home that's keeping me back from things. For one, the bitterness I held back home is still very prominent right here and now.

I hate that I only have one Canadian friend here, and I don't really get to hang out with him. People underestimate the gap between American and Canadian culture, and I guess I had too before coming here. My friends ask me things sometimes, and I am just so taken-aback by what they're asking, or what little they know about my country. I mean, it's not entirely their fault, they're not bad people or anything, it's just... it's weird and sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable. For example, I was talking about how Stephen Harper had creepy soul-eating eyes, and had mentioned that he was our Prime Minister... and one of my closest friends goes "I didn't even know what kind of government you had in Canada." Then I mentioned something about having a Queen, and my other good friend says "You have a QUEEN?" I was in shock. Did she think that we had a Queen of Canada... or did she not realize that the Queen of England is still a somewhat 'important' figure in Canada?

Or tonight, my friend was talking about the two cars she's owned so far. She's 19. At 23, I've never owned a car in my life. Because of the way I was raised, I did not even get my license till 21, and because of some stupid accident that I almost got into, I don't even have the self-confidence to get behind the wheel of an automobile right now.

My parents would never buy me a car. I'm fortunate enough that I've received financial help getting to this school in the first place. There isn't that mentality back home, that kids need cars at 16, or need to live in dorms in colleges halfway across the country, or that you need to pay a fortune for education. And sometimes I sort of wish there was. I wish I had the confidence that they do. I wish that I was awarded the freedom that they were.

But I'm not saying I want to be them. I'm happy I'm different. Strangely enough, I have never felt more national or provincial pride than I have since starting school here. What's that tagline from Lost in Translation, again? "Sometimes you have to go halfway across the world to come full circle"... or something like that... I don't know if I've come full-circle, but I've definitely learned a lot about my part of the world from being so far away from it. It's not a negative thing, it's just sometimes a lot to handle at once.

I really don't want to make my friends seem negative though, or that I have anything against Americans, because I don't, and my friends are great. But I am happy to be Canadian instead, even if it does create a barrier. In someways, it's allowing myself to strengthen who I am, for better or for worse.

I just wish that this feeling of blah would disappear. And I wish the self-pity would go away with it too. Because I feel like there's a lot of that too, but for other reasons as well.

For one, my Japanese speaking abilities are so bad, it's embarrassing. Friends tell me I'm fine, but I know it's not enough. And this isn't me being humble or anything, but it's true. Outside of the classroom, my Japanese speaking and listening abilities are shit, and it's so frustrating at times. I feel like I've spent so much time, energy, and money working to be able to know what I do know, and yet, in real life none of this effort is visible.

Yesterday, I had to go to Softbank to ask about things, and I specifically went to the one in Harajuku, because they have English-speaking people who work there. However, when I went, somehow that option didn't seem very possible, and there was just a huge barrier between me and my customer service representative. Thankfully, I was with my friend who's in a higher Japanese level than me, so he acted as a sort of translator, but I just felt so embarrassed afterwards. This kid has studied Japanese for less time than me, it's his first time in Japan, he's placed in the "highest" level at my school, and he's three years younger than me. I love him to bits, but I can't help feeling so useless compared to him. And compared to the other people in my class. There are people in my class who are able to speak well enough to hold part-time jobs, who plan on going to university in Japanese next semester... And here I am, asking my younger friend to translate my simple questions about my phone contract.

So that is my weekly frustration in a nutshell. I love all of my friends, but I just don't feel like I'll ever be able to be like them for a number of reasons, and my inability to deal with our cultural gap (or economic gap, or Japanese-ability gap) makes me feel very worthless. It also makes me feel very alone, because I don't think that this is something I can talk to them about without making it sound like I'm some horrible person. At the same time, I don't know if this is something I want to talk about aloud either...

There are other things that are making me feel like shit too, things that you've probably read about before if you read my blog regularly, but it's almost 2 am, and I have a lot of things I want to do tomorrow morning, so I'll save them for another day. Night Night!

February Babbles

So today was Setsubun (節分), which is what it's called when the season changes from Winter to Spring... which I guess means that it's now spring for me... weeeird, seeing as back home they just had a huge snow storm yesterday... but I digress ^^;

Because it was Setsubun, and we're all non-Japanese "kids" at my school, we read a short text explaining the day, and how you throw beans to ward off evil demons. So pretty much the second we finished reading the text, two "demons" burst into the class, one red, one green... so we threw beans at them lol. It was sorta awesome, despite the fact that this is probably something more for little kids and everyone in my class is in their mid-late twenties lol. Then we ate leftover beans, one for each year you are old. So I ate 23 beans, that actually tasted a lot more like peanuts... unsalted peanuts... but they were nummy, so I didn't mind ^^

So, February in Japan pretty much means Valentine's Day things are everywhere. Huge sections of Tokyo Hands are dedicated to either pre-made Valentine's chocolates, or chocolate- and cookie-making kits. My friend got me a dinosaur chocolate mould, and we're supposed to make chocolates together soon. I haven't decided if I'm going to make anyone chocolate yet. There's this one guy in my class who I sorta like buuut I'm pretty sure he's dating one of the girls in my class... I might make some chocolates for these three Korean guys in my class (including aforementioned guy, that way it's not weird haha). I sorta wanna start calling one of them "oppa" cause I think he's extremely adorable... (and I'm starting to get jealous of my friends with their oppas lol) but seeing as I barely talk to these guys, I wonder how all this would go down... Hmm... Either way, I still have a few days to figure it all out ^^;

OH and before I forget, I finally made myself a mixi account~! :D My goal is to write daily, but if I can manage to write 3 or 4 entries a week, I'll be happy with myself. I feel like it might be beneficial to my Japanese reading and writing abilities, even if it's just plain form and slang... it's still better than nothing at all :) よろしくね〜！

Happy One-Month, Tokyo~!

Okay, well I'm technically a day late, but oh well.

It's officially been one month since I've come to Tokyo. I've already learned so many times in such a short time.

For one, I've begun understanding the lifespans of household items. I know roughly how long a roll of toilet paper lasts me, a bar of soap, a carton of orange juice, etc. I know how often I have to wash dishes when I only have 1 of everything. I know how often I have to do laundry. I know how long it takes for my laundry to dry (which is a really long time in the winter... :S).

I've also started understanding how friendship works. I've never been separated from friends for this long, so all of a sudden I'm starting to understand how frail some friendships are. Granted, everyone's busy with work, school, and their own personal lives, but still. You notice who checks out your photos, who comments on your statuses, who remembers your birthday, etc. I've also started understanding how quickly you can become friends with new people when you're all in a similar situation. Had I met all the people I've met here back home, I doubt I would have become so close to some of them in this short a time.

I've also tasted the freedom of being on your own. I don't need to check in when I'm running late. I don't have to justify going out after class. I make my meals and eat them when I please. I go to bars and karaoke till 4 am. I've taken care of myself while sick.

I've experienced life as an immigrant as well. I'm officially a resident alien in the eyes of Japan. I've experienced the frustration of language barriers in simple situations. I know what it's like to be the only non-Japanese on a train, on a street, in a store. Sometimes people stare, but I don't take it badly. Standing out is not something that I've experienced for the first time here, so let's just say I'm somewhat used to it. It bothers a lot of my friends, but honestly, I think people are more curious than judgemental. Either way, I stare at people all the time, so who am I to criticize people-watching?

I'm also officially a member of Japanese society. I separate my trash. I own a National Health Card. I own a contract cell phone. I have a bank account. I own a reduced-fare PASMO. I can navigate train stations on auto-pilot. I have a Japanese address. I go to the Supermarket. I wear a mask when I'm sick. I have about a dozen members cards to stores I may never visit again. I recognize the cats that live in my neighbourhood. I greet the old lady across the street. I purikura regularly.

I guess a lot of these things are pretty normal, everyday things. But they're still a new experience and part of my new relationship with a new city. I love where I live right now, and I love most of the things I've experienced so far. I love learning more and more about the country I live in. I just wish I could become better at the language quicker, so that I could absorb even more of my surroundings.

The first month's been pretty good, let's just hope the next eight months are even better :)