2. Living by yourself and feeling physically shitty is really awful. Add being single into the mix, and all you crave is for a nice pretty boy to take care of you, bring you soup and hot chocolate and blankets and shit.
3. And so I can't stop thinking of you, even though you're probably completely full of shit and don't care about me. But I'm stubborn and don't want to let you go yet.
4. People I care about have to stop fucking quitting school. Another friend from class told me yesterday that he'll probably drop out after this year. If he leaves I'll be so sad. Just coming to school since A. left has been so fucking hard. I miss him so fucking much. He wasn't just the guy I liked in class.
Our class is so tiny and will probably only get smaller next year. And so everyone's presence in class is felt strongly. And when he left you could just tell that everything was off. The whole dynamic was off. And even the teacher was different. She cut off her long hair and didn't smile for a few weeks. She was tougher than usual and somewhat unapproachable. Everything was just so weird and awkward. And sad.
Another girl dropped out at the same time as him, but I guess no one really noticed, because she was always a bit of a faint existence in our class. But everyone liked A.
5. I've been trying to see him, but maybe I came off too strongly. Or too crazy. Or too desperate. Who knows. The thing is that I always go after guys who seem a little bit off, which isn't a bad thing, but it just makes meeting them that much more difficult. But the thing is that I am worried about this kid, and so I want to see him to see how he's doing. Or maybe that's really just an excuse.
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