13.03.08

1. I don't mind being completely alone. Most of the time I don't feel all that lonely. But I do feel bored, especially at night. Because during the day you can take walks and go window shopping or hang out in coffee shops, but at night all of a sudden, all this just seems like a bad idea to do if you're a girl all alone.

2. As much as I like doing translations for people, they're actually a lot of work. I do some translations for friends' events sometimes and because they barely make money themselves, I don't expect them to pay me. And I really don't mind doing them either, because I get to practice and learn more and that's great. But I really wish these people would actually try to hang out with me from time to time. I really feel sometimes that if I wouldn't do these translations they probably wouldn't include me in the first place, except if they wanted to show off how international they are with their foreign friends. And that's what hurts sometimes. I know everyone's busy, but if you have time to ask me to do unpaid work for you, you have time to ask me to go for coffee at least.

3. There was a French guy dressed as Predator on my train today. I don't even know what to say lol. You know, recently I was feeling a bit nostalgic for the French language and felt I really needed to practice speaking it at some point soon. Just never expected the next person I'd be speaking French with would be an alien from a horror movie lol.

4. As an addition to #3, I've been watching a whole lot of French vlogs on Youtube. They're very addictive and I'm okay with this.

5. I think I'm either starting to harden emotionally or let things go. But seeing as I'm like the grudginator, I'm starting to think it's the former.

6. I am constantly reminded at school that without my one friend in class, I am completely alone. On the first day of class, everyone wants to talk to the foreign kid. When you meet people they always say things like 'I would see you around the halls all the time, and I always wanted to introduce myself...' But then you meet people and they meet people and they choose these other people over you and you're left alone.

7. But this isn't a Japan thing, when you think about it. I am always the one left behind. Maybe that's why I moved away. Maybe I'm different. I'm distant. I'm alone.

8. Maybe I'm an android with a delayed emotional response.

13.03.07

1. I finally got my hands on a copy of 2046 and I'm super happy. Got it for ¥500 too! I had seen it in Montreal at Christmas and sorta hesitated buying it because they only had it subtitled in French. It wouldn't have really been a big problem getting it in French... but it was one of those just-not-what-you-were-looking-for-so-don't-wanna-buy-it kinda moments. Aaand at the same place they had it with English subtitles for rental only. So I was so close yet so far. So I decided against it. I figured if I'm going to get it subbed in a language that wasn't English, I'd rather get it with Japanese subtitles, because I had seen it in Tokyo months before, but hesitated and didn't end up picking it up.

2. Watched the DVD and actually understood most of it. Despite the fact that most of the movie is in Chinese and all of the subtitles were in Japanese. I'm a little proud of this. The fact that it was the second time I see the movie helps a lot. But still. 

3. Everyone needs to stop what they're doing and watch this movie. I couldn't tell you exactly what it's about, or what it all means, but it's definitely worth a watch, if not for the plot, but for the music and the visuals and Kimura Takuya. But I digress. It's a movie that makes you want to fall in love and then get torn apart by the twists and turns and the ugliness of it all. 

4. I like twisted love stories. I like movies with unique music. I like movies with vivid colors. I like high quality foreign movies. 

5. I like movies without a good guy or a bad guy. I like movies that are about people trying to understand their own lives.

13.03.03

1. Got to meet up with the old roommate today, which was really nice. What I really love about seeing him is that there are some things that I can really only talk to him about. Not because they're big secrets or anything, but because he's the only one who can truly understand some of the things I experience here. He's my only caucasian-foreign-exchange-student-in-fashion-school friend, which sounds like it wouldn't be a big deal, but it is. He understands my daily frustrations better than anyone else. And I miss being able to let out steam on a daily basis with him.

2. As much as I complain about things, I really do enjoy living here. I'm just tired from the last few months of mega stress to write positive things all the time. But I promise I'm having fun.

3. So I discovered a whole forest of white hair. Two forests, actually. In other words, I can never really put my hair up again... O__O

4. School year's almost over and I'm pretty excited to have a few weeks off and start a whole new year of new kinds of learning and new adventures.

5. Tokyo grows bigger the longer I live here. Every year I seem to change addresses, change jobs, make new friends. And because of this, I discover new parts of the city, take new trains and metros to new stations. I connect train stations by foot, and see all the residential and commercial bits in between. And it's wonderful.

6. I really enjoy walking through residential Tokyo. When you limit yourself to big stations like Shinjuku, Shibuya, Harajuku, Roppongi, and pretty much anything on the Yamanote Line, you get the false image that Tokyo is jam packed with people. And in many ways, it is. But the residential areas are actually quite empty most of the times. And the buildings are lovely. The layout is wonderful. To most people, it probably isn't very exciting, but it's just so different visually from Montreal, and I just love it.

13.02.27

1. When I have school work to do, I'm too busy to work on personal projects. When I have the time, I just get depressed and get nothing done. Gotta find a way of changing this and being more productive in my spare time.

2. I have to stop comparing myself to others.

3. Whyyyy did they have to say thaaaat? Of all the things to encourage me to think positively about, that probably wasn't one.... baaaaah.... >_<

4. I have the fingers of an old lady... they're so dry and yucky and I keep running out of hand cream.... must save theeemmm...

5. Did I already mention the match cereal I found? because it's awesome. Kellog's Japan FTW.

13.02.25

1. I spend a lot of time thinking in complex monologues in my head, writing analytical theses without readers. Was planning to actually write something of value today. But then we had an earthquake at school this afternoon and I was totally just thrown off guard. I just really hate earthquakes more than most people realize and I just.. I don't know. People have been saying scary things for the last two years and I just want all the quakes to stop and for someone to reassure me that everything will be okay. But no one can do this and I just need to calm down and breathe and try to think positive or something.

2. I'm just so tired. Just a couple more weeks of school and I'm done my first year at Bunka, which is a crazy thought in itself. But still so much to get through. ファイティング！

3. Concentration at home comes in the form of American sitcoms played as background music while I work. It's too shameful to say what show I've moved onto, so let's just leave it at that for now lol.

4. My old roommate bought me this shampoo for my birthday and I'm not gonna lie, it's fantastic. I guess it's safe to say that a lot of my awful hair moments over the last few years can be directly tied to the shitty-ass cheap shampoo I usually buy. I'm scared to go see how much a bottle of this stuff costs lol. I worry about what will happen to my hair once I run out.

5. End of school year at Bunka means lots of student-run fashion shows to go see! Saw one today that was pretty awesome, and another two tomorrow! Hope when I graduate I'll be able to make super fucking awesome stuff like that!

6. I thought of something I really want to try and do, but I don't know how to ask so I don't come off as a creeper. Anyways, the thought arose today, so gotta think it over and make me a plan of action for the next couple of weeks.

7.  I want to actually start writing in my other blog. Build it up, promote it, do cool things. 

8. But first I gotta just survive the next few weeks. Over and out for tonight!

13.02.24

1. I don't understand people who send comments to people on tumblr saying shit like "I love you" or "Your blog inspires me" when the people only fucking post pictures that other people took. Dude, where's the inspiration there? Get lives, people, love your friends, your families, the music on the radio, whatever, but just, I don't even know. I just go to tumblr to look at pictures, man. Some blogs have nice pictures and I follow. Some don't and I don't follow.  But honestly, why? Why comment? I just don't get it.

2. Everyone in the province of Quebec just needs to chill. About everything. Yes, the English are oppressed. Yes, the French are oppressed. Everyone's oppressed! Let's just all take a breather and maybe look towards a beneficial solution instead of just posting hate everywhere. On both sides. Yes, I might live on the other side of the world, and so maybe everything just seems so much simpler when you don't have to deal with the problem directly. But fuck man, I'm tired of all the annoying crap that shows up on my FB all the time. Things like "I can't wait to leave this province", or "Thank God I left before it got like this". I understand you're all frustrated, and I've been there. But I just.. I just don't know. Honestly, nothing will ever get solved until BOTH the English AND the French school boards are abolished and replaced by a fully bilingual one. I honestly believe that is the only way of saving the province from a lot of problems and being able to move forward towards becoming a more accepting place for EVERYONE. Not just the English, not just the French, but EVERYONE. This is not open for discussion on this blog. I just need a place to rant because if I post this on FB (which I really would like to), it's going to become another political debate and I'm really not  looking for one of those right now. Pinky rant out.

3. I saw a guy carrying a meerkat dressed like donald duck, on his shoulder in the middle of Shibuya yesterday. You have no idea how much I regret not taking a picture. 

13.02.23

1. I've stopped going after guys. For the first time in a long time, I don't like anyone, which is significant because I usually like more than one guy at a time. But right now, no one, and it feels sort of refreshing. I hope I can keep this going for a while.

2. I saw you today and it was really fun. You were acting mean, but in a playful way, and it was really nice. I've missed this and I want to see you more. But I really feel like I've gotten over you in a big way. Not to say that there isn't hope for something in the future. But for now, I've put my feelings away somewhere. Not out of anger or bitterness, but maybe just out of fatigue. Not just for you, but for all guys. It's your turn if you want. And if you don't want then too bad for you. Just keep being fun, and I'll be happy.

3. How come it's taken me this long to buy Heattech from Uniqlo?! Absolutely worth the ¥790. Hot as shit in the metro though!

4. I really hope to God that all this weird health stuff is all stress-related. Positive thinking, positive thinking!

5. I love shoulder pads more than should probably be allowed. Hehehehehehehe ♡

6. I know some pretty cool people and gotta work harder to become a cool person myself. :)