Tomorrow I will be going to the Japanese Consulate to submit my Visa Application Form. And I'm terrified.
In theory, everything should go well. I have all the papers I need. My record is clean. I have good credit (well I pay my credit card in full, on time! so that means good credit, right?). I own a valid passport. Uh... what else do I need? I think that's it.
But I can't shake this feeling of 'what if everything goes wrong?' What if there's a mistake on my application? What if they get too many Visa applications, and mine is not as good as others? What if other unpredictable things happen?
An equally terrifying fear I have is 'what if everything goes right?' I definitely want everything to work out, don't get me wrong. But I'm only now starting to understand the gravity of this trip, and it's really starting to scare me. I've never been away from home alone. I've never lived on my own. I've never lived in a country where I couldn't really speak the language. I've never not seen my family or friends for months on end. I don't usually like change, and here I am, attempting to thrust myself into a completely different environment.
I'm sure that, if I get to Japan, it'll be okay. I'll learn to adapt, and I'll enjoy myself. But right now all I can feel is stress, fear, and confusion at my own emotions.
Well, wish me luck for tomorrow, guys! I'll let you know how it goes!
No comments:
Post a Comment